Dental health is one of many things that make for healthy kids. In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad tackle the parenting challenge of getting your children started on brushing their teeth. How do your brush the teeth of infants and babies? What about toddlers? These dads offer tips on how to achieve the best dental care. They review some toothbrushes and even participate in a toothpaste taste test. Dental hygiene can be fun, and these parents will show you how. DadLabs Ep. 45 The Lab.

Daddy Clay: Who knew that as a parent teeth would be such a pain in your butt?

Daddy Brad: Yeah – getting teeth is terrible. I mean, teething is just another word for a runny nose and lots of lost sleep.

Daddy Clay: And then when they get the teeth they promptly plant them on your arm or pretty anyone else they know.

Daddy Brad: But eventually kids will need their teeth so I guess it’s our job as parents to make sure they can keep them.

Daddy Clay: That’s right and that’s why today’s lab is all about teeth brushing. Tooth brushing?

Daddy Brad: Teeth – all of them.

Daddy Clay: Brushing your teeth. Them brushing their teeth.

Daddy Brad: Yes.

Daddy Clay: Tooth, teeth – that should be easier to say.

Daddy Brad: I don’t know. Oddity. Now once kids get teeth it’s going to require some maintenance. With an infant, all you need to do is take a damp towel and wipe off them choppers.

Daddy Clay: Yeah, that’s cute and all, but from that point forward getting kids to brush their teeth just gets harder and harder and harder.

Daddy Brad: Now toddlers are usually game about brushing their teeth. They see mom and dad do it and they want to copy. But once they get those permanent teeth getting them to brush is as hard as – well – pulling teeth. That’s kind of circular if you think about it.

Daddy Clay: Well yeah, it’s hard to convince kids to brush their teeth because – think about it from the kids’ perspective. You know? What’s the payoff? Someday in the future I’ll have a nice smile. I don’t have to go to the dentist quite as often? Fillings and drills – that’s all very abstract to kids. So how do you convince them?

Daddy Brad: Well once more it comes down to bribery. But you can’t exactly offer them candy to get them to brush their teeth. Kind of circular – again.

Daddy Clay: So if you can’t bribe them with candy, that’s not appropriate. Go with gear. You know – SpongeBob, Bratz, Pirates of the Caribbean toothbrush. We recommend that you keep a number of different toothbrushes on hand. Let them choose which one they like. Fortunately the dental industrial complex has given you lots of toothbrushes to choose from. Most of them have goofy tie-ins of one kind or another.

Daddy Brad: If Spiderman alone is not enough to get your kids to brush your teeth they make all these crazy ones with gizmos, too. This one plays YMCA from the Village People. It kind of conducts the sound up through their teeth into their skull.

Daddy Clay: Tooth Tunes is the product. This one is the Black Eyed Peas. Are you sure you want the Village People in your mouth though?

Daddy Brad: Yeah, probably not. You know there are a couple of things you can do to prevent tooth decay in your kids. Number one is don’t send them to bed with a full bottle or Sippy cup. And number two, don’t let them take around a juice box all day and just keep sucking on it.

Daddy Clay: Plus, it makes them huge. So – if toothbrushes aren’t enough to make them excited think about maybe a fancy dentifrice.

Daddy Brad: Dentifrice?

Daddy Clay: Yes. It’s a paste used to clean the teeth. It’s a fancy way to say toothpaste.

Daddy Brad: Oh, toothpaste.

Daddy Clay: So we have here a variety of toothpastes. Do you remember when toothpaste flavors - there were two different ones. There was mint and mint.

Daddy Brad: Yes.

Daddy Clay: And then Aquafresh came along and like, rocked our world.

Daddy Brad: Spirals.

Daddy Clay: Another way to get kids excited about brushing their teeth is by using an interesting, good flavored toothpaste. We’ve got a number of those on the market now and we’re going to sort through those by having a kid’s toothpaste taste test.

Daddy Brad: Mmmmm.

Daddy Clay: But before we get to that we’ve got a couple of topics we want to cover.

Daddy Brad: Yes. Fluoride. Most municipal water systems have fluoride in them so you don’t really have to worry about that. Now if you drink from well water or you give your kids Evian bottles, well stop right now and go to Babble.com

Daddy Clay: That’s right. The other thing you want to make sure you do is keep your dentists’ emergency number close at hand at all times. You might even want to keep it in your wallet. Because if some accident happens and a child knocks a whole tooth out – Daddy Brad do you know what to do?

Daddy Brad: I do. What you do is you take that tooth by the tooth, not by the root. You wash it off and you stick it back in.

Daddy Clay: Oh, oh – no you don’t.

Daddy Brad: Yeah, yeah you do. You stick it back in. But if you can’t get it back in what you’ve gotta do is get some milk, and soak it some milk or a cup of saliva and then get to your dentist really fast. If you can get there within the hour you can reattach the tooth.

Daddy Clay: Where do you get a cup of saliva?

Daddy Brad: I don’t know. That’s kind of hard. That’s kind of hard.

Daddy Clay: That’s disgusting.

Daddy Brad: Yeah.

Daddy Clay: Okay, let’s taste some toothpaste.

Daddy Brad: Fruit pursuit. Are you ready?

Daddy Clay: Fruit pursuit. Does that go with the Village People toothbrush?

Daddy Brad: Dude.

Daddy Clay: How would you describe that flavor?

Daddy Brad: I would describe it as sterno and milk of magnesia.

Daddy Clay: I would say it’s like fruit cocktail and Pine Sol. Barbie Bursting Bubbles??

Daddy Brad: Yeah. She’s got great teeth.

Daddy Clay: Dude. I’m not sure about bursting bubbles Barbie.

Daddy Brad: I’m not sure…

Daddy Clay: It’s pink with little sparkles in it.

Daddy Brad: Dude.

Daddy Clay: It smells sort of cinnamony.

Daddy Brad: Yeah. Yeah, Christmas time.

Daddy Clay: Oooh!

Daddy Brad: More milk of magnesia.

Daddy Clay: Tastes like lip gloss.

Daddy Brad: It’s good if you have a …

Daddy Clay: It’s giving some kind of interesting flashbacks actually.

Daddy Brad: This is the Tom’s of Maine Natural Anti-Cavity and it’s a silly strawberry. Here.

Daddy Clay: Okay. Tom’s of Maine.

Daddy Brad: Not so bad.

Daddy Clay: Hmmm.

Daddy Brad: Not so good, but not so bad. Kind of a …

Daddy Clay: It’s somewhere between a strawberry yogurt and a Twizzler.

Daddy Brad: Yeah – with some sand mixed in. This is strawberry Colgate – Kids Strawberry 2-in-1. Let me get a taste right there.

Daddy Clay: This isn’t toothpaste, it’s like jam.

Daddy Brad: Oooh, it’s good. That would be great on toast. That’s not too bad.

Daddy Clay: Toothpaste on toast?

Daddy Brad: Yes. This is Little Bear Orajel Toddler Training Toothpaste. And Duck is on there – Duck is on the cover. Ducks don’t have teeth. At least they didn’t where I was from.

Daddy Clay: I wonder if they brush their bills.

Daddy Brad: Oh, it’s clear? Looks like Vaseline. Tastes a little like petroleum jelly too. Oh my God – with a little touch of Robitussin. Oh, good Lord.

Daddy Clay: Uh, yeah – that’s got a little bit of a floor wax taste.

Daddy Brad: Yeah, and some glue.

Daddy Clay: And maybe industrial insect repellent.

Daddy Brad: Yeah. So Daddy Clay…

Daddy Clay: I’ve gotta throw up.

Daddy Brad: I do too. Which one do you like the best?

Daddy Clay: Hold on… Okay, my vote has got to be for the Tom’s of Maine Natural Care, strawberry flavor which is weird for toothpaste, but I like that it says the word Natural on there.

Daddy Brad: Yeah.

Daddy Clay: And it seems like my kids would use that.

Daddy Brad: You’re such a hippie.

Daddy Clay: Tom’s of Maine.

Daddy Brad: You’re going to go with Tom’s of Maine. I’m going to go with the Colgate strawberry flavor ‘cuz I’m going to take it home and eat it on my toast in the morning.

Daddy Clay: I would have made you for a burstin’ bubble guy.

Daddy Brad: Nehhhh – I’m not really a burstin’ bubble guy. The glitter kind of threw me off. Might be radioactive or something. So be firm in making your kids brush their teeth. And bribe the hell out of them with funky little toothbrushes and really funky toothpaste.

Daddy Clay: That’s right. So that’s all for us here from the Dental DadLab. Happy brushing. Did I mention to you I really hate the frickin’ Tooth Fairy.

Daddy Brad: Dude, why?

Daddy Clay: Well, you know, because I drink…

Daddy Brad: I know that about you.

Daddy Clay: And the kids wake up and I forgot.

Daddy Brad: Oh yeah.

Daddy Clay: And I’ve got to sneak in there with like five bucks.

Daddy Brad: Tie a little….

Daddy Clay: And stick in the….

Daddy Brad: Tie a little string….

Daddy Clay: Daddy, the Tooth Fairy doesn’t love me!! That’s right kid – tough it out.

Daddy Brad: Yeah, Santa Clause will make it up to you.

Daddy Clay: Here – here’s ten bucks.

Daddy Brad: Tie a string around this tooth and don’t go to bed … why is a string hanging out of my mouth… Oh!

Daddy Clay: Tooth Fairy….

Daddy Brad: Five bucks! What are you, crazy?

Daddy Clay: It’s inflation.

Daddy Brad: Dude, five bucks per tooth? You’re insane.