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Sane Parents Guide
Strollerodeo - Obstacle Course
This mockumentary series follows the annual Barry's Strollerdome Strollerodeo contest. Contestants compete in a series of challenges to ultimately win a Micralite FastFold Superlite Stroller. In this second episode, our four contestants tackle the obstacle course. Who will survive this part of the competition? Will it be social media guru and mommy blogger Smantha, stay at home dad and destroyer of strollers Matt, father of 14 Dan, or Burt? Tune in each week to see track the progress of these four as they compete for the lightweight stroller. Check out this episode for a preview of the next challenge - the social media round. DadLabs Ep. 746 is brought to you by Micralite FastFold Superlite.
Race Official: On your mark. Get set. Go!
Barry: Barry's Strollerdome. It's how your family rolls. Our selection is pramtastic! This Sunday, come on down to our central northeast location for the 4th annual Strollerodeo! It's What to Expect meets MMA as our competitors face elimination and our brutal obstacle course. Barry's Strollerdome - walk in, roll out. Barry' Strollerdome does not advocate violence against instructional pregnancy books. See location for available titles.
Matt: Strollers are important to a kid. And I feel bad because I've messed up two or four. And my wife, well she's not really letting me buy anymore. So, I got to win. Plus, I don't want my kid to be that freaky wagon kid. Who wants that? With this first challenge, my chances are pretty good. I feel fit. First team track, junior high.
Smantha: You bet I was watching. And shooting video. I reviewed it. Saw the mistakes. And this is how you win. This is how it's done. It's why my mommy blog is going to be the best ever. Because I studied. This Dooce woman, nobody wants that. Nobody I know wants that. I'm depressed. Who cares? My washing machine's broken. Really? No. I'm going like totally the other way with my blog. I'm going to be like the Tony Robbins of mom bloggers.
Burt: You out there feeding the pigs and it's kind of slop. It's called slop the pigs. You got to be fast. Cause pigs, some people think pigs are herbivorous. They're not. They're carnivorous. But when I was a boy, I'd be fast to the pig slop. I'm gonna be fast on that obstacle course. The other contestants it's like stuck in slop and I'm the pig. That's right.
Dan: Well if there's one thing that twenty years in the tropical fish tank cleaning business has taught me, it's to have a sense of humor. Laugh about yourself. And also having 14 children, now that teaches you to go fast. You should see me make a lunch. I can do a ham sandwich with cheese, Fritos, and also a little carrot stick man with a olive head and a personalized note all in 30 seconds. One thing I have to always remember is to chop the feet. That's one thing I remember from sports and from carrying babies. You have to chop the feet. Little baby steps. Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop. That's the best way.
Smatha: There's one left. There's one left right here. Right here. I got it on camera.
Dan: Well, what is that?
Dan: That wasn't there before.
Burt: Dan, Dan.
Dan: I was quite thorough.
Burt: I guess you can go on home and suck on that little litter of children you got.
Dan: I had a pretty fast time and I felt pretty good about it coming off the course. But then the official told me that I missed the pacifier. Which doesn't surprise me at all, because we never gave the children pacifiers. They'd just lose them. And we encouraged them to just suck on the child that's closest to them in age.
Matt: I felt terrible. Dan and I really bonded. We really got to understand each other on a man to man level. And just for him to get eliminated like that, it was just a real shame. But I guess the rules are the rules though. But I will say one thing though, I don't want to name any names. Let's just say I saw "people" around his Micralite.
Burt: There was something going on there. Something wasn't right. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to sniff out the ass end of a pole cat, you know what I'm talking about?
Smantha: He lost. He was eliminated. I feel sad for him. But I have to move on. This next round, the social media round. I am totally gonna pown. Dan seems like a really sweet guy but having 14 kids, come on, that's crazy. The way I see it, if he had a reality show, then it would be cool.
Dan: My wife was disappointed. She wanted that Micralite. She'd read about it online. She knew that I tried my hardest. She wasn't really angry, angry. Just a little frustrated. Sometimes when she gets frustrated, she gives me some suggestions. So I had lots of those. I was sad of course because I'd been disqualified. But it wasn't something terrible, like my wife being pregnant again. I'm just kidding about that. That would be a beautiful thing.
Matt: Smantha knows social media. And clearly I don't.
Smantha: Someone should make an app based on my life.
Burt: I've had my face booked in Oklahoma twice.
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