In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay interviews Rosalind Wiseman, author of the book "Queen Bees and Wannabes". One of the most popular parenting books, it is a guide to parents about how the world looks like to your daughter. She tells us about the latest edition, which incorporates new chapters on things like social networking and boys. Find out what dads can do to help their daughters through adolescence and the impact a dad can have on relationships. Learn why conversations with both moms and dads are important for sons and daughters. DadLabs Ep. 669 is brought to you by BabyBjorn.

Daddy Clay: So thanks for joining us here in The Lab. Today I've got with my author Rosalind Wiseman, authors of "Queen Bees and Wannabes", a classic. Thanks so much for joining us.
Rosalind Wiseman: It's a classic!
Daddy Clay: It is a classic. Everybody loves this book.
Wiseman: Thank you.
Daddy Clay: And it's such a classic because it's out now in a new edition. Is that right?
Wiseman: That is right.
Daddy Clay: So tell us a little about that.
Wiseman: "Queen Bees & Wannabes" is really a guide to parents about what the world looks like to your daughter. I had to do a better version because the world had changed so much. And I had to incorporate things like social networking. The other thing I had to do is I had to do a completely new chapter on boys. Actually about 80% of the book is new or refined because I felt so strongly that things needed to be better. And then the other part of what I'm doing is I'm working with Dove and Degree and Suave to do this incredible program called DontFretTheSweat.com. And so one of the things that I wanted to do, that I can do with this campaign, is to be able to talk to parents about these little conversations that then maybe if we can have those conversations about b.o. or being uncomfortable about your body, then you can have bigger conversations later. The ones the parents most often think about like getting your period or sex or drugs. All the ones that parents are like, "This makes me nervous."
Daddy Clay: Well parents yes, but dads especially. Do you find that dads struggle more than moms when having these conversations with daughters?
Wiseman: Well, you know, there's a couple things I want to say to the dads out there. Number one is, you know what, when girls become tweens, the relationship between the mom and the girls can be very intense. And so dads, this is your time to shine. This is your time to come forward and you say, you know what, I'm not getting my period. I've never experienced PMS. It doesn't matter. I'm going to be forward. I'm going to talk to my child. I'm going to talk to my daughter. Because the bottom line is, if you can have an emotional relationship with your child, and so many dads disengage. They say, "I don't know what it's like to be a girl. So I'm not gonna say anything. I don't know what to say." No. Your daughter desperately wants her dad in her life.
Daddy Clay: But we don't have the basic qualifications for this conversation.
Wiseman: That is not true. That is not true. If you can talk to your daughter about listening to her, to be present with her even when she's uncomfortable, to not dismiss her feelings. That is how your daughter becomes one of the strongest, competent women possible.
Daddy Clay: Well and also learns some things about what a responsible and good man looks like.
Wiseman: I was gonna say that yes. If you want to like her boyfriends, if she really wants to have a boyfriend, then you have to stand up there and show her what a relationship with a man is about and what she should expect from a man and what she should absolutely not accept from a relationship with a man.
Daddy Clay: I've noticed that my oldest son is almost 12 and so the talks are happening on an ongoing basis but that's been tasked to me. And I know that my wife is having separate subjects but it seems like in families often you say okay, boy going into puberty, that's dad's job. Girl going into puberty, that's mom's job.
Wiseman: Yeah, I think that you need to have, it's important if it's there, to be able to have the same gender kind of dialogue right. But I also think it's incredibly important to have the cross gender dialogue too because it's really important for girls to know what dads feel about these things. It's extraordinarily important for boys to have conversations with their mothers. And for together, to be able to have these conversations because if we don't, then we are existing in a vacuum right? And you're missing a really important part of the expertise that your parents can give you.
Daddy Clay: You can see why Rosalind is such a sought after speaker and why her book "Queen Bees & Wannabes" is such a wonderful piece. I really think you ought to go out and get a copy of that. Thanks so much.
Wiseman: On no thank you so much. Thank you so much and good luck with everything you're doing.
Daddy Clay: Thanks very much. See you next time.