SPOILER ALERT: We penetrate the security perimeter of Santa Claus to uncover lots of secrets. NSFH. Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad also offer tips on important holiday skills like how to wrap a present, where to hide presents, where gifts ordered via the internet should be delivered, and which web sites are best to track Santa and his progress online. You'll also learn about gift wrapping alternatives for dads. Keeping the North Pole magic alive, one video at a time. Happy Holidays from DadLabs! DadLabs The Lab ep. 233.

CLAY Welcome back to the Lab, I’m Daddy Clay.

BRAD And I’m Daddy Brad. And this week we’re going to talk about Santa, so if you’ve got any little ones around, you might want to hit that pause button, if you know what I mean.

CLAY Now some of you may not want to keep “the myth” going, if you’re one of those parents then gather the kids as we give away all the secrets.

BRAD Lots of parents think Santa is fun and magical for kids. So for you, we’ve put together this episode on “Saving Santa: Keeping the Spirit Alive.”

CLAY Or “Holiday Mind Control: How to Lie to Your Kids, and Trick Them into Believing in an Elf.”

BRAD Ho, ho, ho.

CLAY It is what it is.

BRAD Trying to keep Santa alive -- sometimes feels like an episode of CSI: North Pole -- and you’re the bad guy.

CLAY To get away with it, first avoid the obvious. Don’t hide presents in places like the trunk or closets in the house.

BRAD Come on weren’t you ever a kid? Use the office, storage, grandma’s, a neighbors, the attic.

CLAY Same goes for delivery when you order online. A stray package left on the doorstep at the wrong time and you’re busted. Don’t let Brown let you down.

BRAD On the big night wait at least an hour and a half after tuck in before you go to work. Then use physical evidence to throw them off the track. The old cookies and milk.

CLAY You like milk? In our house... And definitely feed the reindeer. Carrots or oats in the yard. And cook up whatever other evidence you can. You’ll be amazed how much they fall for this stuff.

BRAD If you’re starting to feel a little heat, throw them off with the one source you know they’ll trust -- the internet. Have them email santa at emailsanta.com Or northpole.com -- both of these places will send your kid a response. And on the Christmas eve, follow Santa’s global progess at Noradsanta.org.

CLAY One Christmas debate that rages -- Santa presents: wrapped or unwrapped? When I was a kid, presents from mom and dad were wrapped. Santa presents unwrapped. In my wife’s family -- Santa presents wrapped. Which is why I need some pointers on how to wrap presents. So we’ve brought in...

BRAD But far and away the toughest CSI: North Pole moment is the direct interrogation.

CLAY What do you do when a kid flat out asks you if Santa exists?

BRAD It’s an election year, you should have plenty of examples of how to avoid a question.

CLAY I don’t know. Say he does and get made for a liar in 36 months? Hedge? He does if you believe. I think we should throw this open to the wisdom of our viewers. How did you handle the “does santa exist” question? Tell us in a comment and you’ll automatically qualify for this weeks giveaway.

BRAD That’s all for us this week in the lab. Have a Happy Holiday season from all of us here at DadLabs.

CLAY You know where Santa goes to die? The school bus. Thousands of Santas die on school buses every day this time of year.

BRAD Sad how short the window is these day - - what six?

CLAY How did you find out?

BRAD Grandma.

CLAY Damn