Choosing a name for your baby is one of the first big parenting decisions you will be faced with. In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad give a few tips on how to choose the best baby name that will minimize grade school humiliation, career damage, and other problems for your baby boy or baby girl. They suggest compiling a name list and recommend a few web sites where you can search for baby names meanings. Naming a child is not a task to be taken lightly, as the dads found out. DadLabs ep 465 brought to you by BabyBjorn.

DADDY BRAD: There are moments in parenting when the stakes are high and you feel like you may be setting the course for he rest of your child’s life.

DADDY CLAY: Like when you’re deciding whether or not to name him Albert Herman, after your maternal great uncle.

DADDY BRAD: That’s why this week in the lab, we’re talking about the fine art, and exact science of picking baby names.

DADDY CLAY: Today’s show is brought to you by BabyBjorn. Even if you don’t decide to name your child Ella, Emma, Elias or Hugo -- the most popular names in Sweden -- your little Bertha or Herman can still get the benefit of great Swedish design. BabyBjorn.

DADDY BRAD
We kid about Herman, but, in the end, what’s in a name?

DADDY CLAY: Well, a recent study in Social Science Quarterly linked really unpopular names with juvenile delinquency among boys.

DADDY BRAD: Lots of little hoodlums out there named Ralph?

DADDY CLAY: Picking a name together can be one of those special moments when couples come together in anticipation of family happiness.

DADDY BRAD: There can also be yelling and throwing **** at one another.

DADDY CLAY: That’s why you should set the right tone by picking out a special name journal - it’s thoughtful and handy if you ever go through the process again.

DADDY BRAD: Then break the ice. Start up with the funny absolute worst name or names possible to go with your last name.

DADDY CLAY: Don’t throw out your mother in law’s name. Then try to some up with a
wacky celebrity name for your kid. Anchorage Disney. Squirrel Mudpatch.

DADDY BRAD: Tacoma Spaceshot.

DADDY CLAY: You know what’s really popular these days? City Names. In the top 1000 most popular baby names in 2007, there are 25 that correspond with cities over 100,000 in population. I’ve got a quiz for you Daddy Brad. Can you name 5?

DADDU BRAD: Then the real work begins. Start with family names. A sense of deep family connectedness is healthy for kids, and a family name can lead to lots of stories and history. The downside is that you always run the risk of hurting somebody’s feelings, or needing to maintain equity between both sides of the family. But could be worth the risk.

DADDY CLAY: There are shelves of books and web sites galore -- just Google baby names -- there may be some utility in discovering names you hadn’t considered. Once you get your short list, cross reference with the popular dog names on babynames.com, ‘cause you don’t want your kid to be confused at public parks. If you are stuck, babynamegenie.com is pretty amazing, and if the two of you just can’t agree -- post your rival names at sidetaker.com and anonymously outsource you baby name conundrum.

Once you’ve settled on name, submit it to the three DadLabs Baby Name Stress Tests.

DADDY BRAD: The Holler test.

DADDY BRAD: Come on Phineus! Get out of the street!

DADDY BRAD: The handshake test.

DADDY CLAY: Rupert Swarthmore Nichols.

DADDY BRAD: The Fifth Grade Torture Test (actual fifth grader optional.)

DADDY CLAY: What about a name like Tucker?

FIFTH GRADER: Change the T to an F….

DADDY CLAY: If you have any great ideas about how to settle on a great name for your baby, please joint the discussion at DadLabs dot come. It’s the best fatherhood community online.

DADDY BRAD: Thanks to our sponsors -- there’s only one name when it comes to great design and that’s Bjorn. BabyBjorn. See you next time.

DADDY CLAY: You know you’re wife is expecting. Have you thought about the name Bjorn? Even for a girl?