Tantrums, meltdowns, and hissy fits can be a nightmare for parents. In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad tackle this important child behavior topic. Since we're all about fairness here at DadLabs, we'll first show kids some techniques for throwing a temper tantrum and getting the most of their meltdown, including the best locations for their hissy fit. We also speak with early parenting coach, Carrie Contey, PhD. to learn why temper tantrums happen, how child development factors into it, and what mom and dad can do to deal with them. The dads also weigh in with their thoughts and reveal what exactly they're thinking when they see other parent's children throwing a tantrum. DadLabs Ep. 563 is brought to you by BabyBjorn.

Daddy Clay: Hey there, welcome back to The Lab. I'm Daddy Clay.

Daddy Brad: And I'm Daddy Brad. Come right back and we'll show you the proper way to throw a hissy fit.

Daddy Clay: Today's episode on tantrums, meltdowns, and hissy fits is brought to you by BabyBjorn. While they're small enough to fit in one of these BabyBjorns, enjoy it.

Daddy Brad: Before we offers parents tips about how to handle a meltdown, just to show we're not biased, we're gonna teach your kids how to throw one.

Daddy Clay: Sometimes getting a good ROI on your hissy fit's all about market timing. You may want to consider delaying the onset of your meltdown until Dad is on his iPhone using his office voice. "Daddy Brad, I've got something important to tell you." (baby cries)

Daddy Brad: Location, location, location. Only a rookie throws a fit on the kitchen floor. And remember that parents are secondary targets. What you're trying to do is draw a crowd. That's why public areas and high traffic places like airplanes and grocery store aisles are best.

Daddy Clay: Consider throwing a slot slinger. Long green snot tusks are ideal for a top-notch tantrum. Also consider a full mouth. A half-chewed Oreo cookie can really be a winner. Get gross, to get what you want.

Daddy Brad: Finally, pace yourself. Don't over-tantrum. If you throw more than one good floor-flinger a day, your parents may develop a resistance to your fits. But, don't let them rest too long. Because if they can bring you into a restaurant, and they're not terrified that you're gonna cause a huge scene, well you're just not flipping out enough.

Daddy Clay: On a slightly more serious note, we asked early parenting coach, Dr. Carrie Contey to give us some advice on managing and limiting temper tantrums.

Carrie Contey: The way development works is that the child's going along and they're using all their skills and something in them says, "Oh, wow, we've mastered that. We've gotta learn something new."

In that "I'm ready to make a leap", there's going to be some regression. And there's going to be a lot of emotion because the ability to build those neural structures causes a huge amount of frustration.

You can do some things right before the tantrum starts. At least you can try. So, connection is really the key. So you want to see if you can make eye contact. If you can't make eye contact with a child, you don't want to force it. Because it just means they're really stressed. And so, you could say "Hey let me look at your eyes. What color are my eyes?" And if they look, that's going to help them get back to that human place. And it's going to slow them down.

The other thing is you can play. So if they're saying, "No, I don't want to get my clothes on!" and your reaction might be, "Oh no, you're gonna get your clothes on!", you might actually try your hardest to click into a play response and say ,"You don't want to get your clothes on. Ahh! What are we gonna do?" And you start spinning around the room and making yourself fall on the floor. Just try to play with them.

You can't always let it happen. Because time requirements or they're not in the appropriate place. But if your kid over the couple of days is just always falling off the cliff and going toward a tantrum, you're better off letting them have it and really going over, than trying to do fancy footwork and trying to redirect and trying to make sure they don't. Because eventually the pot's going to boil so much that you're better off just pulling the lid off and letting the steam dissipate than trying to hold the lid on it over and over again.

Daddy Brad: Well Carrie's got some good points. But you know, when your kid is flopping around on the floor of the Chick-Fil-A like a frickin' catfish, it's hard to keep your cool.

Daddy Clay: Yeah, I know. But you have to. Because getting all ticked off at a kid for throwing a hissy fit's a little bit like spanking them for hitting.

Daddy Brad: Yeah, but I think it affects the first time parents more, because I've got like three kids and I don't care. I don't hear it anymore.

Daddy Clay: Yeah, first time parents are definitely afflicted more than anybody. And I want to say this to you first time parent - If I'm there and your kid's throwing a hissy fit, I'm not judging you. I'm just trying not to laugh. Because I find other parent's kid's hissy fits hilarious.

Daddy Brad: Oh yeah, you know when your kid is throwing that hissy fit in public, it's a good test about how much you care about what other people think of you?

Daddy Clay: Yeah, and it's one of those moments where you have to tell the world to go to hell and you just. Even if some oldster comes over and gives you the "You need to teach your kids how to behave in a restaurant" comment, which they'll do, the oldsters. You just gotta take a breath, focus on your kid and yourself. Don't worry about them.

Daddy Brad: Thanks BabyBjorn our sponsor. You know what, if your in-laws gave you some crappy travel crib from a company other than BabyBjorn, maybe you should throw a hissy fit.

Daddy Clay: That's a good idea. You know what, join our conversation about mitigating hissy fits on DadLabs.com. We want to see you there for sure. That's all we've got time for this week here on DadLabs.