DadLabs Guide to Fatherhood:Pregnancy and Year One
The DadLabs Dads deliver...and it's a book! This funny, irreverent and sometimes even informational guide to pregnancy and having a new baby is the perfect Father's Day gift for a guy that isn't one yet. But will be soon. DadLabs episode 512 is brought to you by BabyBjorn.
DADDY BRAD: It's kind of like we've all given birth together.
DADDY OWEN: Which explains why I'm so sore.
DADDY TROY: Good thing they cut off the corners.
DADDY CLAY: Yes, it's true. The four hosts of DadLabs have teamed up to produce this: DadLabs Guide to Fatherhood: Pregnancy and Year One, a new book. There's some cool stuff in there, too.
DADDY BRAD: It's like we had ninetuplets.
DADDY CLAY: Does that make you the noctodad?
DADDY OWEN: Good thing it wasn't a hardback.
DADDY BRAD: Lot of good practical information in here. Chapter 4: Baby Powder for You Bottom Line - Baby Proofing Your Finances.
DADDY CLAY: Or Chapter 2: Stirrups and Sympathy - A Guy's Guide to Gynecology. Because you're going to the gynecologist's office. You're going.
DADDY TROY: Gearing up for the baby. A lot of that is going to fall into your lap. guys. So you might as well be ready to go shop for the car seat. You have to have one to take the baby home from the hospital.
DADDY OWEN: We also deal with some of the more serious issues of birth and the aftereffects in Chapter 8: Postpartum, or what we like to call - Sex, some other stuff and Sex.
DADDY BRAD: Professional development. Are you and mom both going to work? If so you need some daycare.
DADDY CLAY: Gynecological environs. What to expect when you go to the actual gynecologist's office.
DADDY TROY: A bassinet. Do you even know what a bassinet is? You've got a crib.
DADDY OWEN: Sex, can we now? And I remember sex, that thing we used to do.
DADDY BRAD: What can you do during the first 48 hours to help the latch on breast feeding process?
DADDY CLAY: Future clouds and radar - doppler and ultrasounds. Ultrasounds are creepy.
DADDY TROY: You're wife's going to go to a lot of baby showers. Well this talks about the baby kegger for guys. How to plan a birthing event for the dad and how to raise money for the kid's college fund.
DADDY OWEN: How to have sex with your wife when your wife doesn't want to have sex.
DADDY BRAD: So, your 48 hours are running out. Mom is up and about a little, the sleeping and feeding cycle is established and it's time to start wrapping up. First of all take everything that isn't tied down because you paid for it. The hospital bassinet is a treasure trove packed with diapers, blankets, wipes and creams. Pick it clean.
DADDY TROY: Traditionally showers have been for women but nowadays it's not uncommon to have couples showers in which the dad participates. If you're part of a shower you need some ground rules. No silly games like guessing mommy's tummy size or dirty diaper party favors with chocolate pudding for poo. And there must be some sort of good food and or beer.
DADDY OWEN: Ever crap out a watermelon? Not a little cantaloupe but a real 4th of July style watermelon? You should try it some time but before you do it grow the watermelon inside your colon for the better part of a year. After you have successfully passed the watermelon you will have begun to get a small idea of what birth is really like.
DADDY CLAY: "So if you step over here you can see where the cervix is irritated." This is not a statement I ever thought I would hear. My wife is on the table with her feet in the air and the doctor is waving me over to have a look at her cervix. Should you ask your wife's permission? "Honey, could I look at your cervix?"
DADDY TROY: So what we have here is a useful, funny, accessible and sometimes insightful to be an expecting father and a new dad.
DADDY BRAD: We're not experts just veteran dads who've learned from our mistakes. We screwed up so you don't have to.
DADDY OWEN: And if you don't laugh so hard that at least once you spray fruit smoothie out of your nose then contact us and we will compensate you with one of these babies featured on the cover.
DADDY CLAY: If you haven't already visited DadLabs.com, please do. There's over 400 funny videos about being a dad there and there's a great community of moms and dads, blogs. You name it. If it's about dads it's at DadLabs.com. We'll see you there.
DADDT TROY: DadLabs Guide to Fatherhood: Pregnancy and Year One available at bookstores and online now.
DADDY BRAD: Are you crazy? Do you know how much it costs to ship a baby? Even ground it's way expensive.
DADDY OWEN: I hadn't thought of that. What about a bus ticket?
DADDY BRAD: Have you traveled by bus lately? I mean other than to get here.