Out of the (foul) mouths of babes. Eventually, as a parent, you will be faced with the parenting dilemma of what to do when your child uses bad words. In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad break down where certain swear words fall on the profanity pyramid. They also talk to a counselor who offers her advice on what to do if your kids start cussing. Or is it cursing? Then they eat soap. Really. DadLabs Ep. 209 The Lab.

DADDY CLAY Welcome back to The Lab. This week we'd like to start by saying NSFW.

DADDY BRAD You know Daddy Clay it's a heartwarming experience when you realize that your precious, young, innocent child is listening to you. Hanging on every word.

DADDY CLAY Oh and it occurs to you when that sweet little girl for the first time hits her little thumb with that little plastic hammer and drops an F bomb.

DADDY BRAD Usually when your mom's around.

DADDY CLAY Which is why this week's episode is all about your child and cussing.

DADDY BRAD So strap on your *$&% earmuffs because we're going to use live ammo here.

DADDY CLAY Is it cussing or cursing? Why does it matter?

DADDY CLAY The first question a parent has to ask is "At what point am I going to intervene?" What exactly constitutes a bad word?

DADDY BRAD To simplify, we've come up with a patented DadLabs potty mouth pyramid.

DADDY CLAY The bottom level. Here you find the earthy words. Things like butt, fart, snot, doo-doo. Similar things.

DADDY BRAD Level two, the medical words. Penis, anus, clitoris, vagina.

DADDY CLAY The third level. The angry words. Hate, stupid, fat, ugly.

DADDY BRAD Level four. The bad words. Ass, bastard, damn, hell.

DADDY CLAY Level five. The really bad words. Here, you've got your f*cks, your sh*ts, and all their variations. We include Godd*mmit here because of the reaction it always seems to get from Grandma.

DADDY BRAD And at the top, your hate speech.

DADDY CLAY In our house, we throw in the parental ban around here. It means anything above that is absolutely a no-no. Below is okay in some situations and not in others. We take it on a case by case basis.

DADDY BRAD We lower the bar level.

DADDY CLAY What happens when your kid hates their stupid fat broccoli?

DADDY BRAD Tough sh*t dude.

DADDY BRAD And what category do you put words into that sound like bad words because of speech impediments or developing speech patterns? You know my dog's name was Percy, so that's a lot of that.

DADDY CLAY And we'll have to do a whole separate segment on the finger.

DADDY BRAD What do you do if your kid cusses like a sailor?

ELIZABETH POWELL The first time you hear one of your young children saying a bad word, it is not a major cause of concern. And in fact, I would even recommend that you not have a strong reaction to it. You will want to set a boundary but you will not want to act alarmed or especially astonished because that can encourage the behavior more once children see that it's fun to get a reaction from parents. Even young children like that very much.

DADDY CLAY Now another good thing you can do is to offer words in substitution, silly semi curse words like balderdash or malarkey.

ELIZABETH POWELL Sugar, scooby doo, fudge.

DADDY CLAY Or muffaletta.

DADDY BRAD That's an olive sandwich. Muffaletta?

ELIZABETH POWELL I think it is okay for children to know that there are some words that grown ups use that children don't use. And that even grown ups think hard about when and where they use those words. And that sometimes things happen, and we make mistakes when we respond to them. And then we move on. I think that's a great lesson for kids.

DADDY CLAY If you've got a silly curse word that works well in your household, put it to us in a comment and we'll compile our list of our favorite semi serious kid curse words right here on DadLabs.com.

DADDY BRAD And friggin' doesn't count.

ELIZABETH POWELL Peanut butter.

DADDY CLAY And one thing you never want to do, is this.

(Soap in mouth)

DADDY CLAY Don't do this to your kid. Trust us.

DADDY CLAY Where do they get this stuff?

DADDY BRAD I don't know. Society I guess.

DADDY CLAY I'm not saying anything but I'm not the one with a potty mouth in my household.

ELIZABETH POWELL Don't be surprised if your child's first curse word happens to be your favorite one. And that's the one you hear used in exactly the right context, in exactly the right voice, in exactly the right moment from your child for they have learned it straight from you.

DADDY BRAD Now in conclusion we want to stress that we're not all about teaching your kids never to cuss.

DADDY CLAY No because I enjoy cussing. It brings me great amusement. So when my kids are older, I want them to cuss. And to cuss well.

DADDY BRAD I never cuss.

DADDY CLAY My great big hairy ass you don't.

DADDY BRAD The goal is to teach your kids when to use restraint. When to be civil.

DADDY CLAY *%&$' a.

DADDY BRAD That's all for us here at the DadLabs.

DADDY CLAY We'll see you next *&$^ week.