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Breast Pump Redux

It's Christmas Eve! Santa's almost here. And you're watching videos? Weird. Oh, well, might as well be a classic like the video that started it all‚ "The Breast Pump." Daddy Brad explains how a breast pump works when a mom is nursing a baby. And because an explanation is not nearly enough for these dads, he goes to an "extent" no man should go to and actually demonstrates it. On himself. Breastfeeding has never been this funny. DadLabs The Lab ep. 237.


Daddy Brad: Happy Holidays from the Dad Labs. Our Christmas party has been raging for about 5 or 6 days. So we haven’t had a chance to make any new stuff.
Daddy Troy: So we’ve reached into Santa’s bag and brought back some classic old episodes brought to you by Parentricity.com.
Daddy Clay: So on this Christmas Eve we bring you the lab that started it all to enjoy with your cookies and milk. Maybe not milk. The Breast Pump. Enjoy.
Daddy Brad: Come on I have to go Xerox my ass and pass it around the party.
Daddy Clay: Have you ever wondered what it must be like to be hooked up to a breast pump. Now lots of moms know this feeling very well because if you are a working mom and most moms are. And you want your baby to get the benefits of breast feeding, over 100 ingredients not found in formula, then you are going to have to hook yourself up to one of these. This is your basic portable breast pump. This is essence a milking machine for people. Daddy Brad tell us a little bit about the apparatus.
Daddy Brad: daddy Clay this funnel shaped device screws on to this bottle and is connected to this tube that runs all the way down to the pump. And a mom puts this funnel type thing over her nipple, turns on the pump and it simulates a suction type activity that is much like a baby nursing.
Daddy Clay: I see and what is the lab experiment for the day?
Daddy Brad: Daddy Clay we are going to hook it up and turn it on.
Daddy Clay: You are going to hook it up to you?
Daddy Brad: Yeah, yeah. Do it for mankind. Just put it right there. Okay. Let’s hook it up.
Daddy Clay: How many horsepower you think that baby’s got?
Daddy Brad: I am think like you know a standard leaf blower something like that. Maybe a Huska Varna lawn mower.
Daddy Clay: You think it might suck your nipples right off?
Daddy Brad: Whew! I hope not.
Daddy Clay: You think you make mile?
Daddy Brad: Oh I sincerely hope not.
Daddy Clay: Okay you think you might become aroused?
Daddy Brad: Dude, that is disgusting. Turn it on, come on.
Daddy Clay: Okay and what is the goal here? What are we shooting for?
Daddy Brad: You know most moms will pump 10-20 minutes on each breast 3 times a day. I am going for 30 seconds.
Daddy Clay: Okay if we could put 30 seconds on the clock please? If everyone in the studio would please don their protective goggles because me might blow. Okay 30 seconds on the clock and here we go. And on Level 1. Okay how is that feeling?
Daddy Brad: This is a wee, oh yeah stereo going, oh ho ho what have you got hat thing on?
Daddy Clay: It’s only on minimum.
Daddy Brad: Oh, ho come on. Oh Whew! Oh my god.
Daddy Clay: You’ve got 30 seconds.
Daddy Brad: Oh dude you got-
Daddy Clay: You have-those are a foot long. It is the most disgusting thing.
Daddy Brad: that is disgusting. Oh my! Whew! Oh! What cha!
Daddy Clay: How much time do we have left? I think that is a minute and we are turning it off.
Daddy Brad: Whew! Dude! It’s still going man! It’s still going! I can’t get them off!
Daddy Clay: Can you break the suction?
Daddy Brad: Oh! Phew!
Daddy Clay: Excellent so now do you fee like you have a better appreciation for what women go through?
Daddy Brad: Yeah honey thank you for doing that. I like the formula and mixing it myself.
Daddy Clay: How are the nipples doing there?
Daddy Brad: Let’s not talk about that. I am little embarrassed.
Daddy Clay: Well I think that is another successful experiment here from the Dad Labs.
Daddy Brad: Yes.
Daddy Clay: Dude I am so glad that was you and not me.
Daddy Brad: Yeah.
Daddy Clay: Oh that was the best coin flip I ever won.
Daddy Brad: Yeah I know.
Daddy Clay: Compared to that wearing the pink shirt is like nothing.
Daddy Brad: Where is my $10? Thanks!
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