All parents are faced with having to discipline their kids for bad behavior. In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad discuss how dads and moms deal with the aftermath of handing out punishment to their children. We talk to a few experts who give their ideas on how a parent can get back to their normal relationship with their child after disciplining them. Share your thoughts on this topic by leaving a comment on this video or visit us at DadLabs.com. DadLabs Ep. 659 is brought to you by Man of the House.

Daddy Clay: Suddenly, it's quiet. You've laid down the law. You've taken away the lollipop or the stuffed animal or whatever it is. You've pried the siblings apart and you've issued the time out. Now what?
Daddy Brad: Today in the lab we're talking about the aftermath of discipline. Today's episode is brought to you in cooperation with Man of the House.
Daddy Clay: But you do know what I'm talking about right?
Daddy Brad: Yeah.
Daddy Clay: You've brought the hammer down. You've laid down the law and there may be tears and people have gone off to their rooms and the doors are closed.
Daddy Brad: Yeah and what follows is t his moment of "What now? How do we get back to normal?" Well to find out, we've asked several of our favorite experts.
Mike Brooks: Any type of discipline that you administer is going to be more effective if you have a positive relationship with your child. If you have a negative relationship that's mostly based on negative comments, criticisms, lots of time outs or even corporal punishment, then from a child's perspective, discipline is going to be a scary thing, it's going to create anxiety and it's not going to be very effective.
Carrie Contey: If your parent gets upset and says, "Ahhhh you're driving me crazy. Stop it!," which is very human and natural and then later on once everybody calms down the parent at the end of the day says, "You know, that was really hard. I got upset, you got upset. I'm really sorry. I'm really going to work on that because I don't want to get so frustrated with you, so I think together we need to think how we could have done that differently."
Mike Brooks: After disciplining your child and using a time out or what have you, at that point it's important to reconnect with your child, show them that you don't bear any grudges, you're not going to hold it against them, hold it over their head, beat them up with it and that you're ready to move on.
Carrie Contey: You want to have an adult relationship with these people so you're not going to necessarily have that when they're children. You want to at least show them, "Hey, I'm just learning just as much as you are." Because really, most people don't know what to do with anger and don't know what to do when they feel really bad and so it's really hard to teach children how to do that so I think it's okay for children to know that I'm actually learning with you and we're going to learn together so we can all be healthy.
Daddy Clay: So, Daddy Brad, what's the policy in your house in the immediate aftermath of a disciplinary moment?
Daddy Brad: Love 'em up. Time, time we're done with the punishment, the time out, whatever it is. You love 'em up.
Daddy Clay: Don't you fear that that's going to undermine whatever disciplinary lesson that you're trying to teach, that, if you get in there and show them affection, it's going to send a mixed message? Shouldn't you force the kids to sort of earn their way back into your good grace?
Daddy Brad: Well, they're always in my good graces, they're just having a consequence.
Daddy Clay: You know, not all of us can be so Zen. Some dads, sometimes, lose their temper a little bit maybe raise their voice with their children and I'm not certain that that's entirely bad. I think it's sometimes good for the kids to know they've made you angry, although I'll say personally that if I raise my voice and if I later think that wasn't a good idea I will apologize to the kids for raising my voice.
Daddy Brad: And I think you can do that. They still know they've misbehaved and that they've been bad you're just raising, you're apologizing for raising your voice, not for the discipline.
Daddy Clay: But isn't all this just way too soft? Are we being too soft on the kids?
Daddy Brad: No we're not saying no punishment. We're just saying punish, discipline and then move on. Don't dwell on it.
Daddy Clay: Well I'm sure that there are lots of parents out there that have ideas about how you should handle the aftermath of a disciplinary situation. If so, please leave us a comment on this video or you can join the conversation at Man of the House or DadLabs.com.
Daddy Brad: We'd like to thank Man of the House and our experts and you for watching us here at Dad Labs. Well, that's all for us here in the lab. We'll see you next time.