Midnight Feeding Meets Twitter

In this episode of Quality Time, a new parent faces off against Twitter. The Twitter bird wonders why this new dad has abandoned social media status updates following the birth of his new baby. Why isn't he updating friends and family on fatherhood, newborn baby diaper changes, feedings, and more? DadLabs Ep. 775 is brought to you by Beaba Bib'expresso.
Danny: I gotta lay off the nuggets.
Twitter: I'm not a chicken. I'm Twitter.
Danny: Twitter's not yellow.
Twitter: I'm here via Tweetdeck.
Danny: Awesome. Some people get stalked on Twitter. I get stalked by Twitter.
Twitter: Listen, @dannyrocks.
Danny: Just Danny. Out here in reality, or wherever this is.
Twitter: Your followers are worried. You're not sending any Tweets. You're not even answering your DM's which is a major social media faux pas by the way.
Danny: I wonder what would happen if I stuck my iPhone in this thing.
Twitter: You were on a trajectory like this. Your cloud score was soaring. You're gonna have 500 followers before you know it.
Danny: We had a-! We had a baby.
Twitter: That seems tweetworthy.
Danny: My real friends know we had a baby.
Twitter: Your Tweets 10 May. Headed to the hospital. More Tweets and pics to come. That was three weeks ago. Classic Tweet-tease.
Danny: Well Twitter, can we just call it paternity leave? I mean a day, a week. I'll get back to it okay.
Twitter: But you're missing some prime stuff here. Tweet every feeding. Tweet every dirty diaper. Followers eat that sort of stuff up.
Danny: I don't need to validate my fatherhood experience on Twitter.
Twitter: Which would make a excellent Tweet by the way. Think of me as your digital baby book, a repository for all these sweet and tender moments that you're having with your baby.
Danny: So you're committed to archiving my Tweets for my lifetime and the lifetime of my child.
Twitter: Sorry about that. A little down time. Did you say something?
Danny: Can I just take a break? This is a new gig. Not sure what I want to share and what I want to keep for myself. So this is done. I gotta go take care of the baby.
Twitter: You'll need me to express how you feel about it.
Danny: My love for my son seems greater than 140 characters.
Twitter: See, you're a natural. Meh. Just wait till Facebook gets a hold of him.

Concretin Nik
You mean to tell me...
written by Concretin Nik, June 20, 2011
I was mixing formula manually and there's a machine for that!? Sonuva!
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