Never go to an adoption center interview with Sebastian while wearing flip-flop sandals. That is the painful lesson that Owen learns in this episode of Hot Dad Action. Shot on location in LA with Special Guest Star: Sebastian. Check out his special on Comedy Central. Episode 506 of DadLabs is brought to you by BabyBjorn.

SEBASTIAN Next.

OWEN Hi. Good morning! Thanks so much for meeting me.

SEBASTIAN Fine. Have a seat. So, you want to adopt a child?

OWEN Yes sir, the wife and I want to share our home with a little one.

SEBASTIAN And where is your wife?

OWEN Oh, she works. I don’t write now. I’m in training to be a stay-at- home dad. Ha.

SEBASTIAN So tell, Mr. Egerton, why do you want to be a father?

OWEN Well, I love kids.

SEBASTIAN So, you’re a pervert?

OWEN What? No. I love children in a nice way.

SEBASTIAN Well, you might call it nice..

OWEN A clothed way.

SEBASTIAN Sexy, leather clothes?

OWEN No. Very moral.

SEBASTIAN Fine. Let’s move on.

OWEN Thank you.

SEBASTIAN So, a little scenario. You hire a a twenty-year old baby sitter. At the end of the night, you walk her to her car, writing out a check. She’s says she’d rather you pay
her with sexual favors.

OWEN Okay...

SEBASTIAN Do you wear a condom?

OWEN No.

SEBASTIAN No. He starts to write something down.

OWEN I mean, I would pay her.

SEBASTIAN For sex?

OWEN No. I mean, I wouldn’t have any sex, no sex!

SEBASTIAN She’s smoking hot.

OWEN No.

SEBASTIAN No sex with the baby sitter.


OWEN What’d you write?

SEBASTIAN It’s for office use only. Do you ever use the phrase “it’s
all good.”?

OWEN Yes... sometimes.

SEBASTIAN Have you ever done an impersonation of the lizard in the Geico ads?

SEBASTIAN Do you use wireless headpiece in public places?

OWEN Is Starbucks public?

SEBASTIAN Did you see either Deuce Bigalow one or two in the theater.

OWEN Both, actually.

SEBASTIAN Do you force your co-workers to see your “new awesome ap!”

OWEN I don’t really work-

SEBASTIAN Do you have any children of your own?

OWEN No. It seems I might not be able to fertilize a woman.

SEBASTIAN Thank God.

OWEN So, can we discuss my new child now?

SEBASTIAN Hold on what is that?

OWEN Flip flops?

SEBASTIAN Your toenails look like it could cut provolone cheese! What’s wrong with you? What the hell are you doing with your feet?

OWEN Its just natural and comfortable. Let’s my feet breath.

SEBASTIAN That’s it. No way are you getting a kid. Your going to raise a kid in this society? Wearing those flip-flops? Your kids going to look up to you then he’s going to look down to you and look those nails. You’re an asshole.

OWEN I’m an asshole?

SEBASTIAN You’re small, shriveled, red, and everything coming out of you right now is shit. Get out.

OWEN But my application...

SEBASTIAN Get out.