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TOPIC: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
 
Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
In a separate discussion today, Daddy Troy mentioned that he has drifted apart from some kidless friends. That hit a chord for me. When we got married, our single friends sort of just dropped off the radar and stopped calling. I would like to think that won't happen again with our kidless friends, now that we are with kid.<br><br>But last night, my wife and I were discussing plans for our annual Halloween Party (Halloween is a major holiday in our household; long story). Last year's Halloween Party seemed kind of lame, and some of the single girls who did show up had the nerve to band together and conspire to leave the party early in order to go to a bar.<br><br>So this year we are discussing the possibility of having a Kids Halloween Party. The pretense is that this will be a party for the kids. But in reality, this means we will only be able to invite families with kids. Is that wrong? Would our kidless friends have the right to be annoyed by this?
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
Your kidless friends might be miffed they weren't invited, but if they were, they wouldn't come anyway. They don't want to be around that noise and ruckus... and mucus. If I were you, I'd still invite them, but I wouldn't expect them.<br><br>It's a two way street. I was sort of dropped by a friend who had kids, he was just too busy. But even when we were hanging out, I'd talk about skating - something he felt he didn't have time for anymore, and he'd talk about his kid(s) - something I knew nothing about and had no plans to find out about yet. Still not sure I want to swap poop stories, seriously! So we didn't have as much in common as we once did.<br><br>So non-breeders drop the breeders just as easily as they are dropped. 'Tis life. Ain't no thang.<br><br>I think it's also very different between BABIES and KIDS. Older kids, say 6+ are really starting to be their own person and able to interact with adults better. The younger ones, not so much. My wife has friends that we have never lost touch with, and they have two boys, both of which she watched grow up. They were 6 and 7 when we met... so they were usually at the parties, but sometimes they'd go and stay at a friends house, but couldn't play all the games we'd play. Now, they're almost always there, playing games and watching football WITH us. 'Tis very cool.
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
i would say that given the fact your single friends conspired to leave early last year, it would be a relief for them to know that they didnt have to do the polite thing this year and tolerate other peoples' kids. They can just go straight to the adult environment that is the pub. I think you will be pleasantly surprised how unoffended they will be!
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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amy
Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
think Greg is right, if you don't invite them they probably won't be offended. And if they ask you about it you can always say that We've just decided to do a kiddy party this year and we didn't want you to be bored to death! But if you want to come you're more than welcome!
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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greg1
Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
Before we had any kids a friends of ours threw a kickin halloween bash that we all (single & married) looked forward to all year long. It wasn't until we had a kid that i realized they have 2 halloween parties, one for the yungins and one for the grown-ups. Usually they would enlist grandparents as the babysitters and party down for the night. (great idea if you can work it out) So, now we have the best of both worlds and everyone has a great time!
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
I like Greg's idea of two parties, although it may be hard to do.<br><br>For awhile we would have an early party for those with kids, and then a later timeframe for those without. Sometimes one parent would stick around for the late part while the other took the kids home. We would even hire a babysitter to be at our house while we had the party in order to take care of our own kids once the other kids had left. A spend the night baby sitter might even be key here depending if you and your wife both want to drink a little. You get to sleep in. And if he or she could take the kids to a park, you could really sleep in. Skyrockets in Flight.<br><br>Eventually though we did not have enough kidless friends to make up the second round of the party. Now that my kids are a little older, as in five and three, I am able to be a little more social again, and therefore go out socially with people who don't have kids. As a result I am building the database for the adult party that might happen someday, maybe.
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
I think a spend the night babysitter is a really good idea. It's probably an even better idea before the party so that we'll have more time to set everything up. I'll have to ask the boss about this.
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 5 Months ago
I told my wife a spend the night babysitter was a good idea, and she slapped me.<br>Heh.
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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ben
Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
I lost contact with boatloads of friends when I moved 200 miles. What's funny is that some of the married ones came to our wedding and I hadn't heard from them since until after they received the birth announcement. I've been so busy I just couldn't get back to everyone. Locally, I don't think a child has had as much effect as gas prices, a strike and a dirty house.
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
Hey Everybody,<br><br>Thanks for all the ideas and thoughts. I just got off the phone with the wife, and I think we're going to press ahead with the kids party only. My wife's brilliant idea was to write the invitations such that they are from our daughter, and to the other kids. Parents won't even be mentioned in the invite. I think maybe that's the best compromise.<br><br>Ben, I certainly hear what you're saying about the dirty house! Normally, my wife and I have a major knock down fight the day before the party as we both run around trying to make the house look respectable and blame each other for being slobs. But we know the routine...we've gone through thea the planning-->clean-->fight-->party cycle many times now!
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 7 Months ago
In your late 20's my wife and I moved to a new town to find work. We found it hard to make freinds with couples our age. The ones with children where always buisy, which is understandable. The ones with out children partied like they were still in college. Which we don't do. The biggest disappointment was the fact that when my brother had his kids. My wife felt left out. Dispit the fact that she helped rase a sister ten years younger then her, she was treated like her input did not mater, because she did not have kids of her own.<br><br>My advice to every one reading. Wheather your a child care worker or a parent. don't asume that your Childless friends don't know any thing about child rearing. When they do have kids, don't jump all over them with advice just because your kids are older. or you have more.<br><br>Sean, you and your kids are comfardable with your friends at the the party you should invite the. Even if you think they wouldn't come. Think of it as saying, hay bud, your still welcomed here.
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 5 Months ago
Just wanted to provide an update....<br><br>So we proceeded with our Kids Halloween Party this year. The invites were sent out with our 2 year old daughter as the hostess. The party was a spectacular success. There were probably more than 20 toddlers and babies that showed up. This could have easily been either a total disaster or a complete success (no middle ground here when you have that many babies and toddlers in one place I think). We got very, very lucky because the weather was good, so the kids could all run around the backyard and try to push each other down the hill into the forest. We would have been very screwed if the weather was bad.<br><br>Anyway....word DID get back to some of our childless friends that we were having a party and they were not invited. Also, some people who were used to attending our Halloween parties were apparently wondering if they were C-Listed. We rectified the situation (I hope) by posting multiple status updates and photos, etc... to Facebook clearly stating how wonderful our DAUGHTER's Halloween for KIDS party was. Hopefully that doused the upset emotions from the childless friends....
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 5 Months ago
They could only possibly be upset if they openly have stated how much they LOVE kids. I seriously doubt many of them would have attended anyway, invited or not... Glad it was a success!
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 5 Months ago
I'm just jealous that you all have friends.... I don't have time for friends outside the home.<br>(ok, and I don't seem to relate to many people)
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 5 Months ago
I married my wife for her social Rolodex.
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
44 Years, 4 Months ago
I'm late to the party on this one, and yes they have the right, but they should also understand that you're having a kid-friendly Halloween Party; no adults allowed yakking on the side yard because they had one too many chocolatinis. No, that wasn't me.<br><br>Your single friends and kidless couple friends are always going to be fine doing their own thing. And if you have any friends who want children but aren't there yet, have 'em over.
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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Re: Have You Dumped Kidless Friends??
5 Years, 3 Months ago
My partner and I have dumped a few friends over the past couple months. We have run out of patience for the needy people in our lives who give nothing back. My old buddy who loved to come over and drink all my beer and was rude to others if they blocked his view of the TV? Gone. The vapid girl who wants to go out to ridiculously expensive dinners 3 times a week and says, Don't worry, just put it on your credit card? Gone. The real friends are sticking around, although I'm sure I wont see them as much after the baby comes...
Last Edit: 2009/04/16 10:51 By .
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