What to do to keep your kids full of wonderment this summer? Send them to Uncle Pappy's Magic Camp. Aha! Wonderment! South Austin enchantment! Aha! Owen! Aha! DadLabs Ep. 359 Daditude.

Daddy Owen: Summer time can be hard for a parent. How to keep your child entertained. Luckily I’ve started my very own summer camp, Uncle Pappy’s Camp of Magic and Wonderments. Here in beautiful resort like South Austin, Texas your child would learn magic and wonderment at every turn. Fear is magical too. Ah haa, now what would summer camp be without classic summer camp activities? Like roasting marshmallows, who needs a campfire when you’ve got the magical box of heat rays?
Unidentified Child: That’s a microwave.
Daddy Owen: No talking while magic is in process. Ah haa, it’s working. Anyone hungry for a magic? Swimming in a full size miniature pool. Remember kids, the human lung is the most magical organ of all. Ah haa, don’t touch Uncle Pappy’s pumpkin juice. And arts and crafts. With this magical instrument I can take two pages and make them one, let me show you again, two pages, ow. Each child will receive the magical tools they will need to perform magical feats. Ready for your magic tools, alright. First, magic wands, made from the horn of a unicorn. That’s got magic moss on it. Ok, that’s smaller. And every wizard needs a cape. There’s one for you, here you go that one’s for you. Yours has a pull string on it, there you go. Here we come, magic cape. Who wants a magic broom? I thought so, here you go that’s for you, magic broom for you is a swifter broom and here that’s, that’s for you. Use you magic and cape for goodness. Here we go. Ready witches and wizards, lets fly. Watch out there goes a snitch. I’m gonna lap you. Children will learn actual spells. Just a simple unmagical glass of water, but when I place it inside my magical chamber of coldness.
Unidentified Child: That’s a freezer.
Daddy Owen: You talk so much. It will magically transform in a few magical minutes. See how its doing? Still pretty slushy but… Who wants a corn dog?
Unidentified Child: I’m a vegetarian.
Daddy Owen: I was raised Episcopalian. Kids will get a chance to meet actual magical creatures. Ok kids, time to see Henry the magical man beast. I’ll lure him.
Unidentified Man: Get out Owen.
Daddy Owen: Well run, run kids, run kids run he’s angry.
Unidentified Man: I don’t come into your yard.
Daddy Owen: And this is Lonnie the lost lonely unicorn.
Unidentified Child: That’s a dog with a paper roll stuck on its head.
Daddy Owen: Looks like someone hates magic.
Unidentified Child: I hate magic.
Daddy Owen: And Jody the incredible expanding balloon lady. Ah haa.
Unidentified Woman: Owen get your lame camp out of my kitchen.
Daddy Owen: Magic.
Unidentified Child: Become is hurting my body.
Daddy Owen: Let’s see if I can help, ah haa. Do you feel better?
Unidentified Child: No.
Daddy Owen: Ah haa, the real magic is the memories of wonderment and magic your child will have. So, send your little witch or wizard to Texas’s own Hogwarts. Right in the wand.