Who says humans make the best babysitters? What about a rottweiler. Daddy Owen brings best-selling author and child care expert "Good Dog" Carl into the studio to get to the bottom of the two leg or four leg babysitting controversy as Owen reads Good Dog Carl by Alexandra Day. Carl, a very large rottweiler, is patient with Owen's snarky reading of his famous memoir, but his proposal to get physical is just too much. Carl goes Cujo on Owen. Please enjoy our ode to "When Animals Attack VIII." DadLabs Ep. 259 Daditude.

DADDY OWEN: Today’s reading nook is brought to you by SitterCity.com where you can find the best babysitters but you don’t need a babysitter if you have a rottweiler.

Hi, welcome back tot he reading nook where we’re reading Good Dog Carl by Alexander Day and we’re lucky enough to have the actual Carl here in the studio. Welcome to the reading nook, Carl, you’ve got ball breath!

This is the exciting story of a rottweiler and a baby. “’Look after the baby, Carl. I’ll be back shortly.’ Says the mother.” She’s a wonderful mother. Carl’s looking out the window watching squirrels or cars or other dogs in heat. And the baby crawls out of the crib and on to Carl. That’s weird. Oh, and then the baby is riding you and then you go into the bedroom. Is that a dog wang? Good thing this book isn’t available in pop up. And here you are in the bedroom playing dress up… it isn’t over yet, Carl. Carl, come on. You ate the gravy train. You agreed to the interview.

We’re back but now we’re on the floor. And here you are dressed in drag and here you are playing in the laundry chute on the second floor and oh, the baby’s gone and the baby’s in the basement.

Oh, and you’re riding along and you find the aquarium and you put the baby in the aquarium. Now you’re having a little baby rave. Did you find the ecstasy in the kitchen cabinet?

Now you have a baby feast of cream and sticks of butter and then you take the baby upstairs to vomit.

Oh and now you’re running a bath and here you’re belching up bubbles. Oh, and that’s one of my favorite images ever. I think if I had a tattoo, that would be it. And then you look out the window again to see if there are any bitches in heat. And there’s mommy hanging out with another dog. And there you are looking all smiley. “Good Dog, Carl.” Bad mom, Mom! The end, what a great book?

Hey Carl, want to wrestle?