Pregnant Man Gets His Belly

Daddy Clay:  Nine months baby.  You and this thing you are going to-
Daddy Clay:  We’ll see about the whole nine month thing.  What do you think?
Daddy Brad:  What’s wrong?
Daddy Owen:  Oh that’s just.
Daddy Brad:  Ready guys?
Daddy Clay:  Oh right.
Daddy Brad:  Cheers guys.
Daddy Troy:  Cheers.
Daddy Brad:  Good job Owen cheers!
Daddy Owen:  Thanks, thanks a lot.  Well I’ve had the suit on for just a couple of hours now and I already understand.  What if we did like a day?  You know have you ever had those times in your life where it was only a day but it felt like 9 months?  I am feeling this emotion.  Like I am feeling what a pregnant woman might feel.  I wouldn’t know how to put that.
Daddy Clay:  A day?
Daddy Owen:  Two days?  How about three days?
Daddy Clay:  I mean do you know someone that was pregnant for two days?
Daddy Owen:  The suit has a lot of different parts.  And you had to fill it up with water which we did.  You have to –there is construction thing like I wrap around my chest which constricts my breathing around my ribs.
Daddy Clay:  Obviously you’re the guy in the suit.  And I you know you need to talk this over with your family.  And if you don’t feel like you can do the full nine months we might be able to talk about it.  But I mean we the object here is to try and you know-
Daddy Owen:  I am feeling a little emotional now.  There is a huge amount of water in here.  And there are these metal balls right here that kind of dig into me.  And then there is a big thing here that digs into my bladder that makes me put constant pressure on my bladder.  Who is this pregnant for nine months?
Daddy Brad:  That’s a good point.
Daddy Troy:  Touché.  
Daddy Brad:  Okay six months?
Daddy Owen:  I don’t even know if she was this pregnant for six months.
Daddy Brad:  Three months?
Daddy Owen:  And then in here in the actual belly part there is a ball shaking around so I feel kicking.  It kicks against me and it get my which is really kind of sweet.
Daddy Brad:  They say this is kind of third trimester suit.  
Daddy Owen:  Yeah.
Daddy Brad:  So a woman feels this for three months.  
Daddy Owen:  What if it’s premature?
Daddy Brad: But it’s not.  This is going to be a healthy, full term child.
Daddy Owen:  It is heavy and not comfortable and hot.  I’m tired.  I could really use a beer.  You don’t like the denim?
Daddy Brad:  Nah.
Daddy Owen:  Does it make me look fat?
Daddy Troy:  It makes you look like a pregnant art teacher.
Daddy Owen:  I’ve got boobies now.  I am I have not had a chance to be alone with them.  But they are nice.  I don’t know they feel they kind of belong there.  I think I should have to-I should wear something over the belly.
Daddy Troy:  Oh like the big prego pants?
Daddy Owen:  The big prego pant.
Daddy Troy:  The ones that the stretch on top.  Yeah sure.  
Daddy Owen:  I feel more comfortable in those.
Daddy Troy:  You like pants better?
Daddy Owen:  I like pants better.  
Daddy Brad:  I think he should wear a huge sell the belly or do an advertisement-
Daddy Owen:  Ohhhh!  My back already hurts.  Oh I just moved and it kicked.  Oh it just kicked right there.  It was so sweet.  You know you forget that it is just a lead ball.
Daddy Clay:  I think that we have to have a wig.
Daddy Owen:  I don’t understand why a pregnant man would wear a wig.
Daddy Clay:  You’re not a pregnant man.
Daddy Brad:  You’re a pregnant woman.
Daddy Clay:  I mean men can’t have babies.
Daddy Brad:  Right.  You’ve become a woman.  
Daddy Owen:  You know Clay and those other guys and you know Brad and Troy they have that dry humor.  And they say stuff and you’re like oh yeah.  Like hey she might get fired today or hey really I am serious stop talking.  Alright we have to get this straight.  Am I am man having a baby?
Daddy Clay:  Listen Owen it’s what I am telling you.  This is the deal okay?  It’s a woman.  That is how we conceived of it.  That’s the way it’s going to be.  You’re going to wear a wig and a dress.
Daddy Brad:  Oh yes, dress.
Daddy Clay:  Maternity clothes.
Daddy Brad:  Because people look at women-
Daddy Clay:  And that’s it, that’s part of the deal.
Daddy Owen:  Clay wants me to be a woman.  Uh yeah.  
Daddy Clay:  So okay that is part of the deal.
Daddy Owen:  So what is this-does my wife-is this like my wife is now a lesbian.  You know Clay and I butt heads and he has such a big head to butt against.  But yeah I wanted to sort of talk to him about that.
Daddy Brad:  Hey do you think that your wife would wear a mustache?  For the three days?
Daddy Owen:  To be a man you mean?
Daddy Brad:  Yeah pants and a button down shirt.
Daddy Clay:  Okay so I think we are done right?   We’re agreed woman okay?   Cool
Daddy Brad:  Three Days.
Daddy Owen:  Three days.
Daddy Brad:  Do you have to pee yet?
Daddy Owen:  Yeah but I think I can hold it.  I think it is going to be strange enough walking around Austin pregnant let alone cross dressed and pregnant.  Though I am cool with that I mean a lot of my close friends, a lot of my best friends and cross dressers.  So you have any like O’Doul’s in the fridge?
Daddy Brad:  No.  We have some Carnation Instant Breakfast, milk.
Daddy Owen:  This vision need a tweak and that is hopefully what I will do is tweak.
Daddy Clay:  It’s an online television network. It’s like the Food Network except our subject matter is fatherhood.  So it’s four shows a week.  And each show is like 3-7 minutes long.  It’s funny and it’s-yes-well it’s about fatherhood but no it’s not like it’s against-it’s not against women.  It’s not-there are some women in our audience-yeah absolutely.  Oh you know what I have one of the starts of our shows right here and it looks like he’s got an issue.  So if I can call you back in 10 minutes then I can-that would be great.  I’ll talk to you later.  Thank you.  Okay.
Daddy Owen:  Is that me?  Are you taking me?
Daddy Clay:  No, no because we have started.  So you have started.
Daddy Owen:  You were serious about that?
Daddy Clay:  Yeah totally I mean that is part of the thing.  You are pregnant now.  Okay?  You are carrying a child and you need to take that seriously.  So no beer and I am not kidding.  Like when the cameras aren’t on you , you’re not touching the stuff.
Daddy Owen:  It’s light beer though.  Does that?
Daddy Clay:  It doesn’t matter if it’s light beer Owen.  So anyway what is the deal?
Daddy Owen:  I don’t want to be a woman.
C;  I thought we were real clear about that.
Daddy Owen:  You were clear.  I was less clear.  Can I just be a pregnant man?
Daddy Clay:  Owen men don’t get pregnant.  I don’t know if you missed that day at science class?
Daddy Owen:  But that’s-
Daddy Clay:  Or?  And men don’t get pregnant.
Daddy Owen:  That’s the hook.  That could be the angle.
Daddy Clay:  So it’s funny if you are a woman and you are pregnant and you’re going through it all.  Maybe they know you are a man underneath.  But on top you’re a woman and you’re a pregnant woman. I realize you want to be creative and you want to do something that is a little different and that is your natural impulse.
Daddy Owen:  Yeah, yeah.
Daddy Clay:  And we’re just saying no.
Daddy Owen:  Please?
Daddy Clay:  Is this a deal breaker?
Daddy Owen:  Uhm well I am not usually good at the kind of confrontations, yes.  
Daddy Clay:  Because you look I mean-it’s good
Daddy Owen:  That’s aggressive when you do that.
Daddy Clay:  I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.  I mean I just-you have to understand I have a lot invested in this bit.  We have been talking about it for a long time.  I want it to be good.  So okay there is another phone call that I really have to take.
Daddy Owen:  What do you think then?
Daddy Clay:  Okay alright, I have to take this.  Okay.
Daddy Owen:  Yes, that’s a yes?
Daddy Clay:  Clay Nichols.  Hey Dave I am just great how are you doing today?  We are doing this great bit on the pregnant man and I could-
Daddy Owen:  Yes!