Pregnancy is not volunteering to be a designated driver! Just because you are pregnant and have to give up alcohol doesn't mean you want to be a taxi service for drunken idiots. Just ask Owen. In this episode, we force Preg-O Man to babysit a boy's nite out. Thanks to Stork Avenue.

DADDY OWEN: The guys wanted to go out to a bar…

DADDY CLAY: I can party with pregnant ladies.

DADDY OWEN: …and go out drinking.

DADDY BRAD: Kind of a boys night out. Boys and pregnant man night out.

DADDY OWEN: This was as close to hell as I’ve ever experienced. I was the designated driver for the guys. Wow.

[Daddy Brad and Daddy Clay sing in the car]

DADDY CLAY: Don’t let me be some vaginized pregnant guy.

DADDY BRAD: So we had a couple.

DADDY OWEN: We started the evening before the sun went down.

DADDY CLAY: So your iPod’s busted? Do you know the night they drove old Dixie down?

[they sing]

DADDY OWEN: They wanted to stop for beer. They were singing reggae songs. They were having a good time.

DADDY CLAY: Most of the time when I’m going out I have to be so careful but with you I’m just going to get totally wasted.

DADDY OWEN: It’s a funny thing being sober around drunk people. I guess now I know what some of my Baptist friends go through.

[in the car] I’m glad you’re having a good time but I don’t even know if it’s seven yet.

We got to the bar and there’s a bunch of guys waiting. I kind of felt like I was a little bit of an outsider. I was pregnant. I had boobs. The guys were making jokes.

All of a sudden I’m being felt up like a minister’s daughter.

DADDY CLAY: He was welcomed despite his obvious difference.

DADDY OWEN: I was sent to the bar to order the drinks. You don’t quite get the same respect from the bartender. He was staring at my boobs as well. They guys started to try to get me to have a drink and break the rules but I held strong.

There were ladies coming up to me and this might come as a surprise but I don’t usually get this kind of attention in bars. Man, who knew all I needed was an empathy belly.

[women snuggle against the belly]

I learned what a motorboat is. That was terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.

Right before leaving Clay took me aside to have a bit of a heart to heart. I’ve had those kinds of moving conversations as well when I was drunk. When only one of you is drunk it’s like bad reality television. Which is bad because good reality television is bad.

[Daddy Owen drags Daddy Brad out of the bar]

DADDY OWEN: Brad drunk is a great advertisement for sobriety. Brad should get drunk and go visit AA groups and just hang out there. It would be motivation to never drink again. Eventually he had his own morning sickness. It was like one am in the morning but it was sickness.

The big thing I think we’ve all learned is that your wife or partner is going to be a designated driver. Don’t take advantage of that. That’s a gift. I so miss drinking.