Preg-o-man Ep 3 – Episode 410

OWEN Oh yeah, ipecac. I guess I get dressed before I throw up?

OWEN Brad and Clay, they asked me to go get dressed. And then they brought a bag full of stuff for me to wear.

CLAY Try those please. And if those don't work, you can try the white ones. There's some other stuff in there. So, we'll wait for you out here, okay? We're late so -

OWEN So hurry it up.

I'm gonna keep on the same underwear.

CLAY Just put something on. It doesn't matter how you look, okay?

OWEN Okay, okay.

CLAY Owen's fashion sense is perverse. I mean there's bad and then there's just sort of disappointing.

OWEN None of my pants would fit, because I wanted to go over the belly a little bit.

I'm getting a bad case of camel toe.

None of them would snap.

This is bad.

CLAY Those pants, I mean. Why does he have those?

OWEN No go on the black shoes.

I think I looked okay in the end. I found an outfit that worked.

CLAY Those go good.

Has there been a time when he decided that there's an orange pants party.

OWEN That hurts.

In some ways, I was like, you know I don't even think people are gonna notice that I'm really pregnant. They're just gonna say, Hey it's Owen.

This expired in '04.

CLAY I mean, what does bad ipecac do?

OWEN I had to simulate morning sickness.

For an adult, I take one tablespoon and two glasses of water. That's it.

BRAD You're gonna puke.

OWEN So the plan was for me to take some of that and then vomit. Have my own morning sickness.

Oh, you've never used this.

CLAY No, it's brand new. I mean, it's five years old, but it's brand new.

He was up for it, and he was willing to jump in there and take the ipecac.

That's good. You don't want to smell it too much.

OWEN Really?

CLAY No. I mean, did I say don't smell it? And what's the first thing you do?

TROY Okay, we can stop. That's good. That's good.

CLAY Grandma Troy. Careful, you might put an eye out with that ipecac.

TROY I don't think it's safe.

CLAY If you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it.

I don't know what he was all worked up about. It''s just throw up medicine.

TROY Well, I think his health is more important than our company.

CLAY To an extent.

BRAD I think pregnant women puke.

OWEN At least they're all good statements.

I'm trying to think of a positive vomiting experience I've had and nothing's coming to me right now.

TROY If you want to do it, it's your choice. You signed the waiver when you started.

OWEN As a rule, if I can avoid situations where I'm going to vomit, I work to avoid them.

CLAY What's the worst thing that happens?

TROY His wife sues us. The company goes down.

OWEN But is there danger? Why is it just my wife suing? Why would I not be around to sue?

CLAY Hey Owen, it's up to you. Okay. Do you want to do it? Or do you not want to do it?

OWEN If I, what if I don't? What if I say no?

CLAY I think that's fine. Owen, you do whatever you want. You do whatever you want.

It's not what we're talking about. It's you.

OWEN I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm doing it.

CLAY Oka. Good.

TROY I'm not responsible for this. I am out.

CLAY You just back out. Roll the camera again. You might want to get that. Make sure we get that.

OWEN Is it meant to be foamy?

TROY Dude that's way too much. Seriously.

CLAY It's fine.

TROY Owen, I really think. Owen, you're gonna get -

CLAY He already decided. You have a water.

TROY We don't have health insurance in this company.

OWEN Alright, here we go.

TROY Oh my God.

BRAD Puke. Puke. Puke.

CLAY You'll warn us right? Cause right now I'm right in front of you and ...

BRAD First the hypersalivation.

OWEN Yeah.

BRAD Then the kind of the mild nausea. Then extreme nausea. Then you're gonna boot all over the place.

TROY Okay, vomiting usually happens within 15 to 20 minutes. If patient has not vomited in 20 minutes to 30 minutes, a second dose can be administered. And it says we need to save the vomit for medical inspection.

OWEN Right now, I'm feeling okay.

BRAD Ten minutes dude. You got 10-15 minutes.

CLAY Do you have a big bowl in the kitchen?

OWEN I do. I have a big bowl. I'm not saving this.

Maybe it lost its puke ability.

BRAD No, it's gonna be 10-15 minutes.

CLAY Do you want to eat some chili? Maybe we could mix chili and milk and orange juice.

OWEN I'm just feeling a little something.

CLAY Looking at you makes me want to, kind of, I feel a little nauseous.

TROY It's gonna reduce the effectiveness of treatment such as whole bowel irrigation. You have one of those planned today?

CLAY So did you remember to eat something this morning that was kind of smooth?

TROY It's been about 10 minutes since you've been standing here, so and there was like 10 minutes before that. I think we should probably, I don't think it's gonna come.

CLAY So I guess I mean the next question is like second dose?

OWEN How about we just call this morning sickness and go?

CLAY I mean, will people be disappointed if they don't actually see you puke?

BRAD Maybe you'll puke on the way to the coffee shop.

CLAY Will it feel like -

OWEN Oh boy. (Puking) I should have listened to Troy.

I feel I'm already growing. Not just as a man. But as a human being. Go women.

Mission accomplished.

And thank God I don't have a womb.

These guys should really pay me.

CLAY Did you flush?

OWEN Yes.

CLAY How do we know you weren't faking?

OWEN Why don't you come smell my breath? How about that? Come smell my breath.

CLAY I didn't see it. You flushed.

OWEN I know. Come smell my breath. And I think you can tell. You'll be able to tell.

I don't remember that. Don't remember eating it. I really should chew more. That's for sure. Oh boy.