For one Dad, Christmas Eve devolves into a nightmare of crushed ornaments and possessed fuzzy animatronic toys run amok. We here at DadLabs think that nothing says "Holiday Spirit" quite like buckets of fake blood. Plus poetry from Owen. Happy Horrordays! DadLabs Ep. 235 Daditude.

Daddy Owen: Twas the night before Christmas and I was working like mad such as the fate of the Christmasing dad it was late in the night, quarter past three. All were asleep except lucky old me, my daughter upstairs asleep in her bed, no worries of toys tainted with lead. No fear for the Barbie made south of the boarder would possible lead to a eating disorder. For soon it will be Christmas and Christmas is sweet, Santa will come and Santa must eat. She left milk and brownies for the jolly ol bloke, I took a small nibble and that made me choke. I squirmed to my feet, I started to thrash, I took a step back and heard a loud crash. I looked at my foot I soothed the pain, stepped on a toy and busted my brain. And there I saw under the tree beady eyed Elmo staring at me. I heard Christmas angels sing fa la la la, but quoth the elmo ha ha ha. I stood to my feet, my head in a fog and felt a sharp snap on my fleshy Yule log. It hurt like the dickens more than one man can say, I felt like a prisoner in St. Nicks Abu gray. The pain was intense It might never stop, then I fell to the floor and my eyeball went pop. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, and when did I leave the chainsaw out? That wasn’t smart, not clever, nor cunning, worse than all that I had left the thing running. Oh Christmas was here and Christmas was hurting enough for a Christian to consider converting. I screamed out to god, Zeus, Allah, Rah then quoth the Elmo. I picked up Elmo to destroy him somehow and he said to me “you’re my bitch now” he sprang to my neck with such ease and such speed, striking my jugular and making it bleed. My sight went dark like cold Christmas coal, and I heard Elmo proclaim “I’m drinking your soul”. In spite of the pain, the horror the fear I made it through Christmas Eve just like last year. My daughter came in with eyes wide and bright. It was worth all the pain of Christmas Eve night. She cuddled her mom, smiled and gave pause, “thank you” she said “thank you Santa Claus”.